I still stubbornly maintain that i am not at fault though.
I do expect much from my friends-care, concern, sensitivity, tactfulness, perhaps even love, respect and (the rarest of all), sweetness, i guess.
I give my friends these. But do some of them even give me half of what i give them?
Nope, nadda, never thought to do so.
I honestly don't think what i'm asking for in return is O.T.T. I just want to be treated well, preferably with what i give them in return.
I can stand the occasional attitude-giving and some rudeness-only to a certain extent.
What i CAN'T STAND is when they outright deny what they've done or said when i ask them about their bouts of rudeness, or incidents which i can't tolerate.
FESS UP. NO GUTS, DON'T EVEN F--KING ARGUE WITH ME THEN!
Seriously i can't even comprehend why one would outright deny it; it's such a ridiculous thing to do. Do i really appear that 'blur'?
I can't stand it.
To be perfectly honest, when i feel strongly against something, i will ask the ''offender''-albeit in an aggressive tone. This is a very bad point, i know, but i don't know of any other way to tell the person how i feel!
Maybe it's the way i was born or smth, idk. I've always had this mental moral/ethic code-that relates to how one should treat another- that i still like to abide by.
That's why it eats away at me relentlessly whenever i feel slighted.
Call it an ego, foolish pride, over-reacting, whatever, but i still am a firm believer in doing things by my standards.
Some of the things i believe a true friend possesses:
1) Never lies to another; unless it's a white lie.
2) Never gives attitude unreasonably.
3) One should always treat friends with respect.
The first-a friend lying to you-always sows disrespect and distrust. But it seems like everyone's doing it these days.
Why are you so foul?
I don't give a shit if i sound narcissistic, but i do honestly think i want another Me as a friend.
It'd be comforting; reassuring to know that someone, at least SOMEONE has the same values as i do.
I keep reminding myself that no one is perfect; not friends nor family; no one. So if i go on giving people these remarks(eg: could you please not do this, etc) i'm gonna lose friends, some of them very dear to me.
Quest for perfection, this is.
A fruitless, thankless, painful and unavoidable one.
On a side note, maybe i seem like i'm victimizing myself here.
But HAHA GUESS WHAT, I DON'T DESERVE THIS SHIT.
Do i seem like an inexhaustible well of goodwill?
Up yours, f--kers.
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