Little Jottings: February 2012

A lesson without pain is meaningless, for you cannot gain something without sacrificing something else in return. But once you have overcome it and made it your own…
You will gain an irreplaceable full metal heart.

—

Full metal alchemist.

so true.

Tsundere (ツンデレ^?) (English: /ˈsuːndɛreɪ/ or /tsʊ-/, Japanese: [tsɯndeɽe]) is a Japanese character development process that describes a person who is initially cold and even hostile towards another person before gradually showing their warm side over time.

One day i will have 2 puppies like these.

ONE DAYYYY!!! <3

http://www.nipponkodo.com/en/cat/43/

for incense wants~

dear lord, want this room so bad!!

Online-diary post

Apparently, my whole workplace thinks of me as someone who is very serious...can't help but wonder who i would be now if i had worked part time here and met these people and made these friends. Evidently i'm too serious for the 17-year-olds here and even the whole workplace(well, only my level anyway).

Was talking to this colleague in the mrt(we take the same train home) and upon asking her if she thought i was too serious, found out that

1) She thinks i'm someone who loves classical music...and not rock(foo fighters!), dance, pop or anything;

2) I have never before in my life laughed till i cried/ teared (my god seriously -.-)

I guess i am indeed too extreme.

And yeah, being serious is my default mood i guess -.-

I gotta learn to lighten up and not be so serious all the time. :/

Friday, February 24, 2012

Remember your self esteem, your self respect, and your self worth. Hold strong to them.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Off-Day

"Judging denies reality. By placing judgment on yourself and others, you are living in a world seen only through your lens. Your lens is foggy because of all the shit you’ve been through in your life. So instead of basing your emotions on truth, what is factual, they are now based on cognitive…"

A little bon mot i gleaned from a blog. :)

Today: Sushi dinner at Ichiban and Underworld w Odie dear :)))

Didn't get the foot massage i wanted,due to lack of time, but i'll be sure to get it next Mon or so...

need more off days. Indefinately!

Someday i'll pick up the phone and give you a dial, maybe-when i finally grow old enough to view this situation in a different light.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Blah

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/7-crucial-steps-to-minimize-drama-in-your-life/

Cause i know i can be such a drama queen, this is what i need to read. Heh.

Was so pissed at something that happened today at work that i was actually literally Trembling with anger due to all that adrenaline coursing through me. Like what the. -_-

Anyway.

I got the iPhone 4s! Thanks to my dad's gracious supplier. :DDD

Gonna get a pretty cover for it soon. <3

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Tips to self:

Get on with life

There is no need to fret over your soundness of character, your popularity or your future. A one-off criticism is not a verdict on your entire life or you as a whole person. Learn to be less fragile. Life is too short to worry about what one person thinks. There is too much work to be done, too many good deeds to perform, people to love, experiences to savour… The unpleasantness has claimed enough of your life as it is. Time to right the imbalance by getting out there and setting up some wonderful experiences for yourself!

Wonder what kind of incidents work will toss in my way tmr. Hmm.

For nasty comments said to you - the best thing to do is to say nothing and walk away, or just use one-word replies e.g. yes or hmm to show that you are not interested in the bully's/bullies nonsense.
If you are threatened in any way and the bullies tell you not to say anything or say things like you'll never see your family again - don't listen to them TELL SOMEONE YOU TRUST!
Carry on being yourself and carry on feeling good about yourself - Don't believe the rubbish they say and don't let them stop you being you.
If things are really bad don't be afraid to go to your doctor and take time off sick or have some annual leave.
Don't show that you are angry or upset. Don't give bullies the satisfaction, if you get angry/upset this will only up their ante.
Do not retaliate - It can throw things out of hand and you could end up being blamed instead of the bully.

well,some of them are, anyway.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Oh wait,i did just remember one good thing about today! I helped this nice Negro American man pick out apparel for his wife and daughter-in-law. He was so nice; the very first customer of the day too. :) So affable. I escorted him to the cashier, because he was 65 and had to rely on an umbrella to walk. At the counter he asked me if i got a commission, and i told him i was an intern. He then commended me for doing a good job. :))) I'm not bragging or anything. I just think it's noteworthy; it's by far the best and most rewarding thing i've ever done on this attachment so far. :))

Didn't dare to ask him to fill out a form for customer service though(which would have boosted my marks considerably, i think). Genuinely nice man, and i didn't want to ruin the goodwill. I'm sure there'll be others though. :))

Mini rant

Heh heh heh,you bitches just wait till i come back as a paying customer. Just you wait. <3 >:)

Petty anger, some may call it but honestly...

.Just die already,would you two bitches please.

..on a side note, i better watch my back from now on. Ragging on newbies is common i guess. But i'd be damned if i'll be easy prey for them.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Things i want to remind myself of;gleaned from other blogs-

http://keepsworkshop.org/post/16073385440/on-patience

1. Innovation is everything. EVERYTHING.
2. Keep your morals and goals intact. Have a direction.
3. Good products are made by people who experience life. Go outside and immerse yourself with culture. Be inspired.
4. Keep your head down. Low key is sexy. You know what I mean. Your feet on the ground too.

5. Don’t wait. Act now.

THE ANGRY THERAPIST: Do you think it's true that you can't properly love someone until you love yourself? Every time I punish and hurt myself...

theangrytherapist:

I don’t think the word is “properly”. I think the word is fully. When we don’t accept / love ourselves, we are giving a shell instead of a whole. Our gift is incomplete and it requires energy to “love” because what we’re really doing is seeking completion in someone else. Therefore, we are taking…

I want to be there. Right now. !O:
"The way I see it, life will always be a struggle. It’s always a fight with fate till you die. So “a little decadence” is not bad once in a while. To survive, we should learn to balance."
" I love men who dress well, have sexy hair and possess a deliciously intelligent mind". :DDD

"I like cats. They’re very interesting creatures. They can take care of themselves, cover their shit (literally) and can be low maintenance but they still crave for their owner’s affection. They’re intelligent, they’re sly (oh, just ask other cat owners), sexy and cute at the same time.

They like to be loved but at the same time they have stuff they want to do by themselves too. Mine likes to spend afternoons playing somewhere else, hunting at night but would still sleep beside me when the Sun is about to come out. I often wake up with something warm on my armpits. Sometimes, he’d ask me to play with him too (by rubbing himself on my legs like there’s no tomorrow). But he doesn’t want to admit these things sometimes. Because a cat is also full of pride."

-I must have been a cat in my past life, honestly-

"And I get lonely too sometimes, even when I’m with other people. I like to be with someone who just wants to be with me too, nothing more complicated than that."

" illogical actions can cause a shitstorm."

Caramel Lollypop Lvl: Asian

"Being insecure is such a waste of time. Instead of moping and spending my time being depressed I just used that energy in to doing something productive. Like making more money and studying to be a better designer, since that’s where my insecurities come from anyway. I guess it all boils down to having some faith in you.Use this insecurity as your fuel to be better. Crush this insecurity, and you will be a better person."

always put logic above. Control your emotions and make things happen rather than worrying yourself silly while waiting for something to happen.

"Fellow artists, friends, especially those who are just starting their careers and are just building their portfolios like me: You can always choose who to work with. Not all ripe apples in a tree are good to eat.

Some got worms in it."

Aspiring designers shouldn’t be spoonfed.

I Will Always Love You.

B*tch, listen...

Lol

Saturday, February 18, 2012

idrawnintendo: I wanted to draw at least one comic where Link looked like a badass.

Unshamedly copied and pasted from http://trick-h.tumblr.com/. Heh.

Man, i miss Japan so much; it's culture, it's food(i haven't tried their parfaits thereeee!!! ...YET. :D),it's ambience...dangit. Hopefully i'll get to go there at the end of this year or so...we shall see. :))

No work tmr. Finally my brutalized feet can rest. :)

Friday, February 17, 2012

Concession-

-alright,i can't not say that i haven't yet begin to see what was wrong with my perception. I guess that yes,i do tend to victimize.

I will not give in though. I'm not going to crawl back,pleading forgiveness.

No way, f**k that.

'In another news', another grueling day of work tmr yet again. Good thing about this is that my legs have grown trimmer. Downside? The nerves in my feet are absolutely traumetized. Damned neuropathy ('tis a condition in which foot-nerves are more susceptible to pain than an ordinary person's).

And perhaps an outing on Sun or smth w Sarah. :)))

Nights y'all.

Wistful and listless

http://discoveringpurpose.co.uk/25-ways-to-deal-with-betrayal/

Everyone's leaving. Maybe i should take up a job based overseas and do the same too. With a pet dog hopefully.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Loneliness; talent's greatest catalyst and motivator.

Seems like this isn't so bad after all.

I find this funny. Hur hur.

Her EYES!!! So pretty! Had no idea Audrey Hepburn was this gorg. :O

Fix You- Coldplay

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you that I will learn from mistakes.
Tears stream down on your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Shamelessly copied from Sarah's blog. Hehehe.

I need that someone. Or some-Thing. A dog or cat would make it better i bet. Not humans. Never humans again.

Work-

-has been, well, to put it in sentences...

1) MY FEET ARE KILLING ME. EVERY SINGLE DAY! Not even had the full-shift day yet and already my feet are dying on me! Ho seh uh $100+ on those Hush Puppies shoes are all gone cause they hurt my feet even more than my damn $69 Croc flats uh Dammit. Grr.

2) Well so far i've made 3 new friends, so that's good. They're leaving after a month though, then i'll be left to fend for myself after this month i think... ): ah well. This is where i should remind myself not to get too attached.

Had lunch alone today at Subway with a new book; 'The Fall', co-written by the producers of Pan's Labyrinth...all about humans on the brink of extinction VS demons/monsters. I LIKEEE. >:D

Muahaha.

I enjoyed the solitude. :)

Anyway, being alone whilst doing my duties during work has really given me (a hell lot of)time to be introspective and all. Actually on second thought, it may not be that all good cause mulling usually leads to brooding for me. Haha!

I must say, everything always falls in place whenever i need it the most. <3 Buddha must be doing his work. :)) I got this when i wanted a job in retail, and at this moment in life, solitude, to be with myself, so i can feel comfortable and secure in my own skin again.

Raw thoughts, these, no matter how cheesy it may seem.

I still do insist that my actions-my being all 'I love fashion!' in my interview with John Little- earned me this spot in Robinsons though! And not, as S. insists, a result of my 'failing the interview'. ________________.

Being alone for those hours also made me think of stuff that would otherwise be better off buried in the depths of my mind.

Like how anti-social i was back in Pri school, etc... i know i have my reasons. Still, part of me regrets not being bold, inquisitive or interested enough to open up, and make friends. So many opportunities lost, all extinct now.

See, this is what i mean by useless. Things of the past unearthed by my foolish, probing mind, to haunt me. -_-

Best bet would be to get a dog and a cat and move to someplace warm, caring and friendly i bet. Somewhere far far away.

Alright the exhaustion mus be getting to me, for i'm getting all emo and angsty and brooding here.

Want a foot massage tmr but won't have enough money for the rest of the week if i go for it...

Bloody Hush Puppy shoes!

Grr.

Nights y'all.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

http://booru.nanochan.org/post/list/asaekkiga/9

Good comicssss!!! Though mostly of a sexual nature.

Am kinda reluctant about going to Toa Payoh alone to get my pants, which is strange and ridiculous for me since i had no problem with a thing like that all once. -.-

Ah well.

Today in shots-

-anddd this is what went on today. :)) Haven't seen Odie dear in SO LONGGGGGGG!!! I missed her so! :)) Hahaha <3 Anyway, today was the first ever time she actually shopped :D pleasant surprise! Haha. Gotta go alone to Toa Payoh to get my long black pants for work though, cause Taka didn't have any of the things i needed...

Oh yeah, the last pic was taken during some,err...flashmob-declaration-of-love of something along the lines of that.

SO SWEET LORRR. I want a husband who'll love me this much tooo!!! People were taking pics of this sweet couple, so this was the best shot i could get. Hahaha.

Alright, time to go play more games <3

Nights y'all!

Friday, February 10, 2012

AWESOMEEEEE!

Respect and admiration for this guy. Nothing but these pure emotions.

THE EXAMS HAVE ENDEDDDDDDDD!!!

And man does it feel strange to be typing away at my keyboard again! Haha. XD

Anyway, the pics speak for themselves...had a smashing time at kBox in Chinatown with S. and A.! :) We sang and goofed off and er iaccidentlysmashedaglasswhileattemptingtodance but all was good in the end! :))

Bought a pair of Hush Puppy kicks for work too as you can see..originally wanted to get Anna Sui ones, but S. said they were unsuitable for work,so. ): ...$100 off too you know....!!!!

Dangit, but at least i like these shoes :)

Haha.

Gonna meet Odieeeeee! tmr! To get black pants for my attachment...good time to put those Taka vouchers to use i suppose.

Boring purchases aside, this past week merely consisted of study sessions with Sarah :)) Productive and useful! Those sessions, with the study sessions with my poly mates have probably turned me off studying at home i think. I keep on watching Family Guy when i'm supposed to study when at home alone -.-

But the EXAMS ARE OVERRRRR!! :)) No more guilt trips! FB games! Yay!

Haha alright, inane stuff aside,i've been giving a particular issue some thought. 'Incident' is a more apt term for what happened but the underlying issue is what i have been focusing on recently.

If one only focuses on the happenings of that particular day, and not the whole picture then yes, the course of action i took was what prompted such a vitriolic outburst. If one looks at the picture as a whole, it is my opinion that i am not all fault falls on me here-the same incident happened the last time, with roles reversed. Having waited at Somerset for an hour with impending exams that time and still forcing myself to be dapper should be more than enough compensation for that day(of the incident)'s late-coming.

I don't know what half truths or lies may have been generated by the party concerned above in dealings with other people. Honestly i don't wish to know.

It's too early and i honestly don't know what kind of actions a tumult of emotions may prompt me to do, but i state this in total honesty; as just a reminder to myself: I don't know how one can bring oneself to do everything in one's power to keep a friend who's already lost, in a sense. Someone who one can't trust anymore with anything. Not even to speak one's mind without fear of being judged-how Ironic, then, is it, to be judged for what you say by the very same person who once said with total conviction and self-righteousness, "Real friends don't judge their friends.".

Good advice that i'll keep in mind; pity about how warped and rotted ____ actually,truly was.

This person in particular's like a soothing, healing balm which has, in the cover of the dark, turned to sulfurous poison in one's wounds.

Alright, enough ranting and heavy stuff for the night.

Gonna go pick out my outfit for tmr...am thinking soft and feminine, but with a hidden dark streak....like, a baby pink wifebeater, long black cardi, pleated belt to cinch it in and shorts with a leather bag and silver studs. And an antique rose ring. Well, at least i hope it denotes my idea of soft yet tough anyway. Teehee.

Nights all! :)