Start of the Hols-

-Finally! :DD Next week is alr packed w things to do with Sec sch and Poly mates :) Can't wait!

We had an interview thing at sch today, where we had to go through a mock job interview. MS. L was our(S. and i)'s interviewer, much to our nervousness. She shoots out questions like nobody's business.

At the end of the interview, S. mentioned that Ms. L had been glancing at me the entire time whilst interviewing her and i got a long stare from her at the end of the interview. I hope that bodes well. O_o We had a laugh over her glaringly red, glittery lipstick/lipgloss. Twas so red that S. had to stifle her laughter during the interview cause they were just so...there.

LOL!

Met J. and his colleagues at AMK for lunch and Mono Deal afterwards, and was introduced to this game called Tchoukball or smth. Impressive, the way some of them dealt with the high-velocity balls and all!

J. drove me home later in his minivan.

Awww :)

So nice of him.

Oh yeah and Wed was the last day of life as a classmate with K.c and B. I felt sad, to be honest. But in truth, i think part of it was brought on by the fact that they were nice to me instead of being...well-for the lack of a better word-obnoxious(as they usually are). HA.

Also C. totally ignored my greetings on Wed, though i shouted her name and waved at her in front of her face.

Bitch. Pfft.

Anyw gonna have my hair dip-dyed in violet prob next week or smth! :DD Can't wait!

"When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you"

"Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears."

-just a bon mot i picked up while reading AnArtLullaby's L.J. Dang what i wouldn't give to go to Parsons School of Design! Haha.

Anyway, dinner at Marche was FABULOUS. FANTASTIC. DELICIOUS!!!

$30, but what well-spent money!

The rosti was good-goodness, the aroma of the freshly made potato strips, with sour cream and garlic pork sausage wafted up and tugged at my stomach whilst i was waiting for J. and S. to buy their food. J had plain rosti while S. had the one with smoked salmon.

J. and i washed this down with root beer-didn't like it though...it tasted alcoholic??? I think i'm too used to the one which come in soft cans :p

For dessert, i had Bailey's Marscapone and bread-and-butter;rum-and-raisin pudding. Delicious, the marscapone.

DELICIOUS!!! 8DD

Sarah shared the marscapone with me and had a peach crepe after. Speaking of which i am SO gonna get that next time i go there!

Joey had pizza and a chicken wing afterwards because she wanted meat. :D Good choice!

LOL

Following which we had a little _____ session and J. had a brownie.

Girl bonding time over Food is SOOOOO good! :DD Or at least to me, since i'm a foodie. Heh heh.

Gosh, am really tired. I pulled off 2 hours of sleep last night cause i got entangled in the web. -_-

Anyway, i have a new maxim- If you like it immediately, get it.

SHOPPING. Cause now i kinda regret not getting this vermillion, gold necklace i saw at Tailsman at FEP today!

Would so totally be set off by the black cape i'm planning to purchase soon...

:DD Laters!

Hope next week will be fun filled and all :DD

I really should be sleeping now-

Cute ainnit? :D

-but,stilll for the sake of updating...

1) ________'s apologized, but what Sylv. dear said to me today about the whole incident has made me realize that being nice, and treating _____ with such flaws is...unwise.

Cause i'm getting hurt more than i'm getting friendship(HAHA never had it in the first place actually!) and in the long run i suspect i may have stages of fury, sadness and confusion, not to mention increasing blood pressure due to interactions with such a fellow.

Amazing, really amazing. How some people behave and how justified they think their actions are. How decency doesn't even happen anymore 'just because'.

Not just ____,but...most of what goes on, what i see everyday.

Sick shit, seriously.

Anyway, on to happier stuff.

Meeting the girls, J. and S. tmrrrrr!!! :D Can't wait! It's been AGES since we've gone out!!! :)) Zomg we're gonna get my coloured hair extension at FEP-hope it's not OSS D:-and have dinner at Marche.

Before that though, i have a presentation.

Bleh.

Another bright lining is, after this week will arrive 2 or 3 weeks of hols! 8DD

I'd better start working on my portfolio for Laselle/Nafa.

As well as create my own clothes? :D

Ha.

Congrats to Odie's guinea pigs; they have a cute lil baby boy now! :D

Off to bed now. Nights :)

Rant

First ever time my English was called lousy by an ignorant little fuckwit I SWEAR!

All because i was taking pride in my work?!!!

NICE. VERY NICE.

Amazing how one can be such a nice,kind person but yet be such a BLOODY, CHAUVINIST ASSHOLE FUCKING JERK AT THE SAME TIME, I SWEAR.

F**K AH IF YOU CALL TAKING PRIDE IN MY PROJECT WORK STUPID AND USELESS AND EVEN DERIDE ME FOR IT, GO STUFF YOUR FAT LARD-RIDDEN ARSE IN A SHITHOLE AND DIE AH, YOU FUCKING DOG.

GO ROT IN HELL AND MAY YOUR SKIN PEEL OFF UNDER THE CUTS OF A THOUSAND BLADES!!!

A reason why i should give my all in project work-

(actually by moral rights it should read 'Another reason why...',but well, meh)

-i just called K.c about my report for P.M and he said it was well written and it was right of him to trust me.

8DD Wah proud! Hahaha! XD

But Jekyll or Hyde; i don't know who___really is.

Project work-

-,i swear, has never been this fun. Met up with my P.M mates today and ytd to complete most of our project and we laughedddd almost all the way through doing it. :D

Mostly it was just me spouting nonsense and the reactions of my teammates. S. cracked S.W and i up when, while doing the WBS thing, he went "Just put all the idiots there." and S. clicked on his name.

XDD

Good times, good times.

A few of my Yr1 classmates were in the same comp lab too and i'm sure i was a world of difference when i really started working.

Such is the difference between an oppressed person and a happy one.

Anyways, tmr will prob be the last day of this project...the good thing is, both S. and S.w will be in my class next sem! Hope i get to do project with them again, it's been a blast XDD

I'll be sure to bring lots of Clorets along tho, if S.w is in my group.

HAHAHA

Gotta scram to do my C.S projects now, the make-up skit's been a bitch to me. Acting in front of your classmates! Contrary to popular belief, i am not very thick skinned or confident kays,haha.

Oh yeah and both of them praised my Eng, saying it's got standard, then went, 'Oh, St Margs ah. No wonder. Got good and bad.'

Bad, huh...then again i suppose every school has it's good and bad qualities.

Later! :))

Today-

-was kinda fun, gotta admit! Played badminton with the guys, but it was just W.,W.X and K.C and i today. Made W. laugh till he had to kneel on the floor laughing and still keeled over from a bench. The reason is...kinda silly, tho.

He and W.X,i think, were doing these loud 'manly' grunts while serving the shuttlecock and when i saw it coming towards me i screamed in the mood of the moment.

W.:"HUUURGH!"

W.X "UUUURAHHHH!"

Me: "WARHHHHHH~!" and did a silly little flipping hand motion thingy.

Funnier in R.L than described, really.

Anyway, am trying not to let dark thoughts overwhelm me. Sylv knows all the right things to say in order to put me back again. :))

I just really want...to be able to find a group who i can click with. To really be friends, not just acquaintances.

It'd really suck if i came away from poly without a single true friend, someone whom i could trust and completely confide in and treat well without being treated unfairly in return.

Only the future knows what'll hold for me, i guess.

Laters. :)

Oh and before i forget!!

The one on the left is SO FRIGGIN HOTTTTT!!!!!! ZOMG! 8D

Sickkkkkkk

-sooooooo damned sick. ): Can't meet Sylv tmr cause i don't wanna spread the virus to her either,sigh.

Bad news about this is that i'm not in any mood to study! What with the supp paper bound to be harder,it coming up on Tues and all...

Not to mention the fact that while my classmates are enjoying their break,i'm gonna be stressing over my presentation to make up for the one i missed.

Never again will i let some silly illness stand between me and my exams again, i swear. Save me all this hassle and annoyance,gah.

On my second whole box of tissues now. Le sigh.

What a day.

Well, to sum it all up...

I woke up this morn to discover that my exam started at 8.30, and not 9 on my timetable while waiting for a cab. Called mum and got Completely tekan-ed by her over the phone.

Went to Toa Payoh to see a doc and bawled my eyes out in a toilet stall(toilets are my 2nd best friends whenever i'm in need)and went to see the doc all red nosed and eyed...how paiseh.

Thank god for transition lens. I put on my glasses and walked under the sun and they turned black,so they kinda hid my red puffy eyes.

Then got diagnosed with a throat infection-for the third or fourth time ever in my life,i swear! *rolls eyes in exasperation* and got that MC and went home.

Then i got driven to see a second doctor, a Chinese physician.

One good thing about this sickness, i suppose...is how pale and unoily my skin is,and how red my lips are! Totally the look i've been wanting.

Sans the sickness. LOL

But i honestly did Screw Up, Big Time today.

I can't believe how undeniably stupid and foolish i was.

How, instead of studying yesterday like i skipped a lesson to, i procrastinated. How i woke up this morning to cram and actually yelled at my mum in frustration for nagging me.

I feel like shit.

(and sound like shit now too actually HAHA.)

Never again i swear.

Alright,i've gotta go sleep now. Anything to prevent my mum from getting pissed again, haha.

Nights!

Youth of the Nation

'Who's to blame for the lives that tragedies claim
No matter what you say
It don't take away the pain

That I feel inside, I'm tired of all the lies
Don't nobody know why
It's the blind leading the blind

I guess that's the way the story goes
Will it ever make sense
Somebody's got to know

There's got to be more to life than this
There's got to be more to everything
I thought exists '

[chorus]

-by P.O.D

I'm feeling better ever since i got that test. It just assures me_______. :)

Anyway,i should be studying now, But i haven't the motivation to. Haha.

Laters.

So f**king sick of this.

Some visuals for today. :)

Nothing remarkable except for the movie we watched-Crazy Stupid Love. It was AWESOMEEEE!! I would pay to watch it again and buy the cd. :)

On another note(warning: emo rant coming up):

I am beginning to wonder if there is any sense to giving my all to those i don't even like.

I am beginning to wonder why some things have turned out futile, or died halfway.

I am beginning to wonder if there is any purpose behind all this, that galvanizes me all day.

If solitude is truly a better option to having many, but being obligated in so many different directions

If all this effort, this hard work will be for naught.

If there's any meaning to all this.

Sylv. says that fearing for the future is senseless; i agree. Yet, what if?

I think i'm thinking too much for my own good again.

Just wondering.

Why don't all the good things come to me??

I suppose the grass will always be greener on the other side.

Either i haven't gotten enough sleep or my hormones are talking, i suppose.

I wish my mind could be blank and i could be carefree again, like when i was a child.

Life f**ks you up in so many ways, and it turns us all wary and afraid of the world.

Just so very weary of this shit; all the politics, drama, disgusting, revolting human behavior i see and feel everyday.

So very sick and weary.

I hope the next,next week rolls by soon.

I think i've lost myself along the way.

I just feel lost, tired, weary and sad; maybe i've burnt out?

In any case i'm definitely gonna give myself at least 3 days of 'laze-home,feel-good' time next next week.

Laters.

I

I've been thinking a lot lately-

-and i need to get it all out on screen here.

But first, just to get some things out of the way:

Drawings i did(plus others which i gave away) to my classmates ^^ The last two ones were drawn by my friend.

Had my ICA 1(test)on Customer Service ytd and it was okay! ^_^ I think i'll pass, which is good given the fact that i only seriously studied one lesson instead of the recommended 3 -.- Lol. Went for KBox with the guys ytd too, and we drank, sang, ate etc.

We also had dinner at this innovative corner of AMK's food court, which had its chefs cook and serve us fresh vegetables and meat in front of us. Twas okay ^^

I really want to go to KBox more. I clam up and get shy whenever i have to sing myself(my skin isn't that thick hor HAHA)so my version of Adele's Rolling in the Deep was diluted...the guys sang Chinese songs mostly, and W. had me cracking up when he sang 'Dui Mian de nu hai kan guo Lai'('the girl on the opposite's looking here'),cause of the cheeky way he sang it!

I just found myself singing it. HAH. Anyway.

M. also asked if i were an only child and when i commented upon that random question, she said that most only kids had certain 'defining characteristics'. I must admit, it threw me off kilter a bit there.

Like...what kind?? I don't even want to know if it's positive or negative.

It seems like i'll never quite be free from these pervasive thoughts that clutter up my mind everyday.

Anyway, i just had fun in class today. ^^ I drew caricatures of my classmates and gave it to them, thus amusing ourselves noisily and probably pissing off the teacher and students in front in the process.

Teeheehee.

I now have K.C's famous web-drawing; i asked him to sign it. I shall upload it in FB and hope he gets famous or becomes a media sensation or smth. HAHA

Lots of stuff invading my mind right now, but all i want to say is, i sure do hope i'm not wasting my time, energy and effort on something that will not last beyond Poly. I honestly don't know why whenever i put in the effort to be friendly and establish lasting, solid friendships that my efforts all go to naught in the end.

Is it honestly so hard to be nice, understanding, caring and appreciative of each other?

I don't get it. I can be abrasive sometimes, but at the end of the day i do genuinely care for those who really matter to me.

I don't get why some people are, or act the way they do. I just really don't.

I would love to be proven wrong in my thinking that making friendships aren't worth the time,energy of effort just because they simply will not last or that most don't,won't or can't even give a shit about your very existence.

So damn hard to keep up the goodwill sometimes.

Just so damn hard.

Nothing much-

-on this week. Well, apart from an extra long weekend-no sch on Mon and Tues!-and meeting Sylv dear to study, nothing much went down.

This coffee place at Liang is a really good place to study at! An abundance of Japanese food,coffee and dessert and silence...good place to study at, no doubt about it.

Chennie's got me totally hooked on cover songs atm. Haha! :)) I miss talking with that girl too. She never fails to make me laughhh! :)) And it'd ROCK if she and Sylv could make it for the Jap trip my dad's company'll be having in Dec...it'd be the 3rd time i'll be visiting Japan. Friends would certainly liven up the atmosphere there! :))

Anyway..

test tmr and my comp cannot access the files we need to study for tmr. DIE.

Random quote i came across,that makes sense-

“To be whole, let yourself break.
To be straight, let yourself bend.
To be full, let yourself be empty.
To be new, let yourself wear out.
To have everything, give everything up.”

New start of a school term-

-and it's only 5 weeks long. :D Heehee! Just to stay on the positive side.

On another hand...

...it's only been the 2nd Day and so far i've been:

1) Freaking out over project work

2)Struggling with an uncooperative brain-i just can't seem to study!

Seems like 18 months of all play,no study have duly rotted my brain.

But i do miss Marketing. Particularly Y.t and P and Ah Tuck and C.y and...man the list just goes on!

Lol.

):

Anyway. So today we had a 3 hr break(Siao,3 hours; might as well push up the next lesson and let us go home earlier/go to town earlier,heehee).

I went to town with two girl, R. and S. They seem nice. ^^ Embarrassing thing that happened whilst in the food court: I was lost in Food Republic. My bag strap was dropping,so i set down my heavy tray of minced pork noodles on a random counter belonging to a stall to lift it up my shoulder, and, Lo and Behold, two Malay guys came up to me looking very annoyed and offended. I quickly gave the 'Sorry paiseh!' face and scooted away.

So suay. -_____-

Today, my friend also said very loudly "You the Project Manager? Cannot lah the previous round you be,your group die ah!" in a very agitated manner. Not jokingly at all. :l

Like i know i totally screwed up that time, i told my current group members(they said i can just have the status and they'll be the backup -_-)and they were fine with it; i've admitted publicly that i am in no way a leader.

I know myself, and i am a follower.

But he didn't have to do that right.

Seriously.

But honestly, i do need to start paying attention in class and stop drifting off, this i am perfectly aware of.

I hate giving the impression that i'm an idiot when i am not.

Ytd was nothing much; just played pool during break and after sch(my finger got concussed!)and had dinner before going home.

ICA 1 coming up just Next Week. Just swell eh.

Should be doing my work now. Nights all!

:)