A jumble of emotions is what i feel as i scan through, and feel those emotions raging through those words.
Pity, empathy,sadness-yet a certain element of indifference. Overriding it all of course, is pity.
It's not that i haven't tried reaching out to her; i have. I want to listen to her, so i can help her the way i was.
Maybe it was because of an incident that happened in primary school-i think she said something that sounded funny to her and everyone, but ended up offending me(i had 0 social skills and was so serious back then!). So i retaliated with some caustic remark that made her stop and stare everywhere but in my general direction. On hindsight, i think it must have seemed like a sudden personal attack to her. Honestly though, i don't regret doing it. It was as much of a shock to me as to her.
Goodness,what a diversion.
Anyway.
Although it seems highly impossible, i am thinking of subtly reaching out to her again. I do think this attempt would be met with sneers of contempt, sniggers and bitching about me both from her and her clique, but, well.
I feel for her; i can empathize not with her encounters but with the emotions she's felt. This is what makes me pity, and want to reach out to her.
But it's a pipe dream, i'm sure.
She's made it obvious that she dislikes me, as well as her friends(in St Margs).
Frankly i don't and couldn't give a damn even if (insert horrible life threatening remarks here)happens to her friends-the whole hypocritical,hell-of-a-Bitchy,fake clique can go hang for all i care,but i do still care for her,i guess.
Strange isn't it? How one can still care for one who clearly dislikes her and hangs with that type of company.
Life is strange.
On a side note: Anyone wants to get Threadless shirts??? Please text me or comment by Thurs asap! :)
Ps: I miss my Creative. You say it's lousy,just a SG brand but you have no idea! It's so much more easier to configure songs(just drag and drop,that fast!).
Annoying iPod just resynced and nearly 100+ of my songs are gone and i don't have the patience of a saint to do the obvious-just resync and download etc.
I plan to sell this annoying iPod Nano New Generation(the metallic,shiny type)soon. It's black with scratches, so i'm prob gonna sell it for...$100? Or $95 lah. Originally bought for $210. I alr know of someone who'd like to have it :)
Alright,school starts tmr, i have no idea how i'll do studying,revising and all that crap cause...18 months of hols. My brain's been in 'Party' mode for 18 months and all of a sudden i'm gonna have to study.
I will do my best and make the most out of this term.
Sarah and Nat and C and her cousin's all gg to Sabah for a relaxing 4d3n stay in a resort!!! See,this is what i mean by having something enticing dangled in front of you and not being able to grab it(parents firmly say 'No!' to me gg overseas). )):
Aww man next week's gonna suck so hard for me.
Anyway.
Nights! :)
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