Sunday, July 29, 2012

Gym-

-finally. Although i must say, today's efforts were..in vain, i suppose, cause my over-reactive, over-kanjiong mother felt this overwhelming urge to cram food into her already stuffed offspring's mouth.
Poor me. ):
No matter, can redouble my efforts in gym i suppose...

Anyway, studied and gymed with Sarah dear today! I kinda missed those times when we studied together and talked, had a nice cup of Bucks and all. :)
Gonna study with her tmr again~ whoopee ^_^

On another note, a mini lesson i gleaned from today: never make a big deal out of your own minor problems(like a certain prob bothering me right now, exam stress, my barely receding waist line, the never-ending quest for comfortable shoes...). Others have it worse, sometimes.
Hope i don't sound too direct, but things always happen for a reason, and they always work out in the end. Sometimes, even better than expected...
Fight on! 
:)



...okay, time for a little, completely-unnecessary-yet-seemingly-pressing matter at hand.
I know this contradicts 'not making a big deal out of small problems', but i'm a bimbo, you see. One who loves shoes...esp those at fab prices...!!!
Still always on my mind: http://www.aerosoles.com/eng/product/souffle/souffle
SOUFFLE_1SOUFFLE_2 AEROSOLES, Y U NO SHIP TO SG?!! ): ): ):
A good width(i have wide feet that are sensitive) and comfy shoe-soles, for such a good price...!
Alas, my dream shall never be )':
Le sigh!

Anyway, off to play more games now. If one has not retail therapy, games will do just fine too, i say!
Therefore, toodles. :)

Ps: A line from a story i was reading leapt out at me...Meghna Kaur was what most people would call a cold fish- cold hearted, snarky, pompous and with the talent to piss people off. 


Useful stuff:http://reallifesurvivalguide.com/2011/07/05/how-should-you-deal-with-someone-who-is-snarky-with-you/ 
I’ve heard that the best way to deal with it is to defend yourself in a calm, assertive way. Assertive means speaking up for yourself without getting angry or aggressive or snarky back, which usually only leads to the situation escalating.

A lot of snarky people are passive agressives who will turn the tables and play victim if you react in a negative way (by getting angry, snarky back, or even acting hurt). They will then act like you’re the bad guy for being offended at something they said and sometimes they won’t let it go and continue to ‘punish’ you for coming back at them. They get to pick a fight and blame your for it.

They feel powerful if they can put you down and feel that you care about their opinion. So, if you do get upset you’ve actually played into their hands. You can’t let them feel that their opinion of you matters, because that’s what they want.

So, example: Your friend says something like “I wish you could afford to have a second house on a lake near mine, it would be fun”.

Of course you are going to feel put down, but instead of getting mad or staying quiet and wishing later you’d said something snarky back, come back with an answer like “We’ve discussed it and while it would be nice to have a lake house (you aren’t lying and saying you would hate it) that would mean I’d have to work full time and I really don’t want to do that. I enjoy my time off too much, that’s the most important thing to me.

Now you have told the person exactly why you have made the ‘decision’ to not have a lake house, why you aren’t ‘jealous’ and how you are happy with your life. You also made them understand that you are entitled to your opinion and likes and dislikes because people like this want to judge you by their standards but don’t want you to have your own. You have to make it clear that you do have your own.

What can they say after that?

Well, I guess they could say- I wish your husband made more money so you guys could have a house on the lake- but in that case you can just come back with nicely explaining that you are both very happy with the type of work you do and that means more to you than material things. Just explain yourself honestly and in a nice way (not defensive).

Another example: someone ‘analyzes’ your personality and tell you what is wrong with you. You listen politely and then say “That’s an interesting theory, but I don’t think that’s true of me” in a pleasant voice.

Sometimes you can just ‘joke’ back with someone.

Another good way to let someone know they’ve been rude is to simply stare at them for a long minute (someone already suggested this) with a shocked look on your face and then just when they think you are going to blow up, break into a big smile and make a ‘joking’ sarcastic remark.

I saw Prince Charles do this to a reporter who asked him how it felt to be at a battlefield where our ancestors kicked his ancestors butts. He did the long stare, broke into a big smile and said “OH, absolutely fascinated! in this tone of voice with just the right amount of sarcasm. You couldn’t really prove he was being sarcastic, but you knew he was. LOL!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment